


No Man Is Too Good For a Little Umbrella

by shutterbug



Category: Psych
Genre: Drinking, Friendship, Gen, Male Friendship, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-21
Updated: 2013-04-21
Packaged: 2017-12-09 02:02:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/768682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shutterbug/pseuds/shutterbug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gus inspires Lassiter to order an unlikely drink.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Man Is Too Good For a Little Umbrella

“You’re--wait. Guster, you’re--really? I mean--” Lassiter struggled for words. _Not the first time,_ Gus thought. He hardly considered the possibility that _he_ would be the person to make him false-start with such gusto. Such back-to-back-to-back gusto. 

“Yes?” Gus prompted. 

Their waiter stood beside their too-tiny, round table, shifting his weight from foot to foot, a quizzical furrow in his brow. 

Lassiter half-stood, then sat back down. His eyes flickered to the drink menu. Gus followed his timid gaze across the open page, across Pomegranate Mojitos and giant-mega-huge Electric Lemonades.

After what seemed like five minutes but was probably barely five seconds, Gus hissed, “Be a man and pick one. You’re going to give this guy--”

“Raymond.” 

Gus frowned. “Your name is Raymond? Really?” 

Raymond pointed to his name tag. 

Gus shrugged. “Okay, well, you’re giving Raymond an anxiety disorder, so--”

“Actually, I’m fine,” Raymond interjected, pen poised to his notepad, ready to take Lassiter’s order. 

“Nobody asked _you_ , Raymond,” Gus snapped. Then, facing Lassie, (who was still bent over the menu) muttered, “Let's go, Lassie.” 

After a short eternity, Lassiter finally decided. “I’ll have one of these--uh” --he paused to peek at the menu-- “Razz-ma-tazz Teas.” 

Raymond scribbled. “Okay,” he said. “That’s one Blue Electric Slide and one Razz-ma-Tazz.” He looked up from his notepad to beam a smile. “Got it.” 

Lassiter looked as though he wanted to crawl under the table and take up residence. Secretly. “I can’t believe I ordered that,” he said. 

“Why?” Gus asked, reaching for the complimentary tortilla chips. “Too good for a Razz-ma-tazz?”

“ _We-e-e-ell_ ,” Lassie said, as if to say, _I normally drink straight whiskey and shoot handguns when I’m exceptionally stressed, so, yes?_

“No. _No_ ,” Gus said, firm and sure. “No man is too good for a Razz-ma-tazz.” 

Raymond returned quickly with their drinks, setting down a bright blue, fish-bowl drink in front of Gus, and an equally monstrous magenta drink in front of Lassiter. “Enjoy, fellas.” 

As soon as Raymond walked out of earshot, Lassiter pointed a straight finger at his drink. “This has a little umbrella in it.” 

“No man is too good for a little umbrella,” Gus said, leaning forward to sip from his straw. 

Lassiter tilted his head, eyebrow raised slightly. He struck his pose majestically, back straight and shoulders back, like a pensive model for a classic Grecian sculpture. After a moment, he replied, “You know, you’re right, Guster.” 

With that, Lassiter mirrored Gus, leaned down, and sipped his drink. They sat silently for several minutes. Maybe ten. Could have been fifteen. Gus lost count. 

“So,” Lassie said, his voice suddenly bright and optimistic. “After this, do you want to go tie shopping? I’m pretty tired of my current rotation.” 

Gus sat straight in his seat. He finished his drink and grinned. “Brooks Brothers is having a sale on suits and ties.”

Lassie returned his smile. “We are going to clean out that place,” he said, fishing for his wallet and throwing a twenty on the table. 

Gus swept his jacket off the back of the chair and followed Lassiter out of the bar. “You know that’s right.”


End file.
